Victoria Coyne: Person of the Week

Our mission is simple, to help individuals build lives filled with stability, purpose, joy and lasting freedom from addiction while providing families with confidence that their loved one is never navigating recovery alone. “

www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-coyne-oc

Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?           

A. February 9, 1987
Alcohol and a myriad of dry goods…I think we all know what that means. lol

Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety toolkit that helps keep you sober?                 

A. Meeting makers make it.  If it weren’t for the “fellowship” I don’t think I would have made it out alive. Sounds cliche, however, it’s the absolute truth.

Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?         

A. Great question and I have been asked that many times. There is obviously a glitch somewhere in us. Whether it was genetic, our family of origin, trauma, etc., I don’t know I will ever come up with a solid answer.

Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?            

A. Originally, Long Beach, California, currently Irvine, California. 

Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?       

A. Compassionate.

Q. Describe how you came to your “rock bottom” point.         

A. Overdid the “just one drink before I head home” on a Friday night. Which lead to another and another. Dry goods entered the scene, and by Monday I was in Hoag Hospital CDU after an accidental overdose.

Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?           

A. Beach, without a doubt.

Q. How do you measure success?  

A. I used to think it was your bankroll, however, now that I am older and a little wiser, I gauge success by the number of people one has positively affected in your lifetime.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?                 

A. When someone doesn’t keep their word.

Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?     

A. Tim Tebow Foundation, specifically it’s work fighting child trafficking and exploitation.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence throughout your life?

A. Difficult to name just one.  But the first name that comes to mind is Oden Fong, who helped put me back together in early sobriety.

Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?        

A. Don’t let the negative voices – my own, or anyone else’s – define who I am or what I am capable of.

Q. Who made you feel seen growing up?     

A. My great grandmother, Francis McBride.

Q. What major event or realization shaped who you are?       

A. Without a doubt, sobriety. What appeared to be the worst day of my life was nothing short of being given a second chance at life.

Q. What sound or sounds do you most remember from your childhood?             

A. Family Arguing.

Q. What do you love most about living sober?            

A. I have choices, and with that, I can walk through challenges and my own fears, knowing that even if I make a mistake, I have a higher power that will redirect me into the path I was intended to travel.

Q. Which part of your treatment and recovery do you feel was the most interesting or unexpected?         

A. The deep, meaningful, and decades of friendships I have.

Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?

A. God, creator, best friend, and protector. I was told early on I could choose whatever I wanted. That broke some of the chains of earlier Baptist beliefs that God was angry with me and I was never good enough. What freedom I found in taking that very scary step.

Q. What is your Astrological sign?  

A. Aries.

Q. Who is your favorite celebrity in recovery?             

A. Brad Pitt … of course!

Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?      

A. Big book, 12 and 12, Drop the Rock, Co-depenant no More, the Bible, Narcissas and Goldman, A Grief Observed, The Prophet…

Q. If you were giving a dinner party for your 3 favorite authors, living or dead, who would they be? (You can choose a 4th if you think one might be too drunk or stoned to attend.) 

A. C.S. Lewis, Charles Spurgeon, Hermann Hesse.

Q. Which film have you watched the most?

A. Oddly, Moneyball.

Q. Who is your favorite film director?            

A. Bryan Singer comes to mind.

Q. What is your favorite App?          

A. Insta.

Q. Who is your favorite performer, living or dead?    

A. Too many to name… I am a die-hard classic rock fan, so it would be hard to pick one. Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Mark Knopfler, Peter Frampton, Boz Skaggs … Clearly I can’t name just one, AND follow your directions, lol.

Q. Who are your heroes in real life?               

A. Dr. Bob Chapman, whom I got sober with in ‘87 and we remained close friends and confidants until he passed away a couple of years ago.

Q. What are some of the most memorable songs in your life?                 

A. Moody Blues, Knights in White Satin.

Q. What is your favorite city?           

A. Laguna Beach, without a doubt.

Q. What is your favorite cuisine?    

A. Healthy, clean. But I cheat a lot too.

Q. What is the best concert/performance/play you’ve ever attended?                 

A. Wayyyyyy to many to name, but the one that just came to mind was Bowie, Serious Moonlight Tour, and of course Tom Petty’s last show of his life at the Hollywood Bowl. But also Tchaikovsky at the Bowl is pretty hard to beat .

Q. What are five things you always carry with you (not including cell phone, keys, wallet, or lipstick)?      

A. Gum, tic-taks, protein bar, water, makeup bag.

Q. What is the best and or worse piece of advice someone has given you?         

A. Best is:  Listen more than you talk. (impossible for me),

Worst:  Trust your feelings. I actually found that to be very dangerous since my feelings change frequently. Trust your gut was a little different, as I found that to be more accurate.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?            

A. “Quit effing around with sobriety”… that was given to a sweet friend of mine as I whispered to her during a women’s meeting. She was in and out of the rooms for years. But sometime later, she reminded me of my blunt comment, which somehow she took seriously and remained sober. 

Q. What is your most treasured possession?                

A. My family.

Q. What do you value most in a friendship?

A. Loyalty and confidentiality.

Q. What do you consider your greatest achievement?               

A. Sobriety 100%

Q. What is your favorite compliment to receive, and why?     

A. I love hearing that someone is proud of me. 
AND, that I’m still cute … without the “for your age thing”!  lol

Q. What is your biggest fear?           

A. Harm coming to any of my family members.

Q. Where do you go when you’re seeking solitude?  

A. My room. I have created a soft, monochromatic white fluffy room with chandeliers, and candles. All the girly things I love.

Q. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?   

A. Less fear. Without that, I feel I could accomplish so much more in life. It’s certainly not like it was, but things still haunt me from time to time.

Q. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?   

A. Watching the sunrise on Lake Powell.

Q. What is your biggest regret?

A. Selfishness and hypervigilance re my future.

Q. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?          

A. Starting my own business.

Q. Which living person do you most despise?              

A. I choose to try and love everyone. With that said, I have some individuals who have hurt me, stolen from me and lied to me, but that goes with the territory of life sometimes. I don’t despise them, and I did learn from them.

Q. What is something you’ve learned about yourself in the last six months?

A. Times of depression in life are often a time of life’s greatest reset when we come out of it.

Q. What do you love most about yourself? 

A. I believe I am one of those people who knows something about a lot of things and knows a lot about a few things.  I love learning.

Q. What is your greatest extravagance?       

A. Hair. Colors, extensions, more color and constant change.

Q. How important are your pets to you?      

A. Everything. I lost my 16 year old pup a few years ago and have not replaced her. She was my ride or die.

Q. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?    

A. “I know, right?!”