Kim Bellas: Person of the Week

KIM BELLAS | FOUNDER, SOBER IS THE NEW COOL

• Global wellness advocate
• Founder, International Recovery Walk — 40 countries annually
• Founder, White Heart Initiative
• Host, White Party NYC — women worldwide
• Featured on 150+ podcasts
• Contributor, The Sober Curator
• 13 years sober, turning one personal choice into a global movement.

@Sober.is.the.new.cool & soberisthenewcool.ca

Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?           

A. My sobriety date is January 12, 2013. I chose to stop drinking alcohol to support my son, focus on wellness, and become the best version of myself. What began as a decision for him became one of the greatest gifts I could have given myself.

Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety toolkit that helps keep you sober?                 

A. My sobriety toolkit is giving back. I took one decision I made 13 years ago and turned it into Sober is the New Cool—a community that now connects people around the world. Whether it’s a white heart, a walk, a message saying “I’m glad you exist,” or simply making sure someone knows they’re not alone, that’s what keeps me going. Giving back gives everything I’ve done a purpose.

Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?         

A. I believe addiction is an illness. I also believe there can be so much behind it—trauma, fear, pain, and things we may know nothing about. That’s why I never believe in judging someone for what they’re going through. I believe in compassion, kindness, support, and reminding people that they are so much more than what they may be struggling with. Everyone deserves the chance to heal and become the best version of themselves.

Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?            

A. I’m from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, and it’s still where I live today. But my heart and my work reach far beyond Montreal. Through Sober is the New Cool, I connect with and help people around the world, reminding them that no matter where they live, no one should ever feel alone.

Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?       

A. KIMMUMMY

Q. Describe how you came to your “rock bottom” point.         

A. My turning point came when my son Matthew was diagnosed with epilepsy. I made the decision to stop drinking so I could support him fully and be there for him through everything he was facing. It was a decision made completely out of love—and one that changed both of our lives.

Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?           

A. By the ocean. There’s nothing more peaceful to me than walking barefoot on the beach—my feet in the sand, the sound of the waves, birds in the air, blue skies, and beautiful sunrises and sunsets. It’s where I feel completely at peace, and I can’t imagine a better place to begin and end each day.

Q. How do you measure success?  

A. I measure success by how you make people feel and what you leave behind. Did you make someone feel seen? Did you bring a little more kindness into the world? Did someone feel better after you left the room than before you walked in? To me, success is knowing that because you were here, you made a difference.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?                 

A. My biggest pet peeve is people judging other people. We never truly know what someone has lived through, what they’re carrying, or what brought them to where they are today. I believe we should lead with kindness and compassion instead of judgment. Sometimes understanding someone begins simply by giving them a chance.

Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?     

A. I’d spread that million dollars as far as I possibly could. I’d help a young woman believe in her future, give a mother and her children a safe place to begin again, and make sure an older person knows they haven’t been forgotten. I’d support women’s shelters and organizations that give people a real chance to rebuild their lives. For me, the greatest thing money could ever buy is hope for someone who needs it.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence throughout your life?

A. My family, without question. The generations before me taught me where I came from, my children taught me what truly matters, and the people I love continue to teach me who I want to become. So much of who I am today—and the good I try to put back into the world—began with my family.

Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?        

A. You are more than enough, exactly as you are. Believe in yourself and never underestimate what you’re capable of. One person really can make a difference, and one day you’ll realize that person can be you. Trust the qualities that make you different—they’re what make you special. And always remember, the world is a better place because you’re in it.

Q. Who made you feel seen growing up?     

A. My dad, without question. He was my right arm, my best friend, and the person I could always count on. He believed in me, helped me, and somehow always found a way to make my life a little easier. He made me feel seen simply because he knew me so well—and loved me exactly as I was.

Q. Which living person do you most admire?               

A. My children. Watching them grow into the men they are today is one of the greatest joys of my life. They’re kind, giving, thoughtful, and they genuinely care about other people. Knowing that they’re out there making this world a little better simply by being who they are makes me incredibly proud.

Q. What major event or realization shaped who you are?       

A. Watching my son Matthew live with epilepsy shaped who I am. He lost so much along the way, including the sports he loved, and has faced more seizures than I could ever count. Yet he grew into one of the kindest, most giving human beings I know. He taught me that what happens to us doesn’t define us—how we choose to live does. I couldn’t be prouder to be his mom.

Q. What sound or sounds do you most remember from your childhood?             

A. Laughter. It’s the sound I remember most from my childhood—big, genuine, fill-the-room laughter. Some of my happiest memories still have that sound attached to them.

Q. What do you love most about living sober?            

A. What do I love most about being sober? I never miss a memory. I’m present for all of it—the good, the fun, the people, the moments that matter. I’ve met some of the most incredible people, found confidence I didn’t even know I had, and created a life bigger than I ever imagined. At 65, I’m still learning, still growing, and still becoming the best version of myself. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Q. Which part of your treatment and recovery do you feel was the most interesting or unexpected?         

A. Sobriety is just the tip of the iceberg. What surprised me was the incredible world of wellness underneath it—fitness, yoga, meditation, writing, dancing, giving back. There isn’t one road that works for everyone. The magic is finding what works for you.

Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?

A. My higher power is God, the universe, and a belief that there’s a greater purpose to all of this. Somehow, my life became about helping others—and I believe there’s something bigger than me guiding that.

Q. What is your Astrological sign?  

A. Capricorn.

Q. Who is your favorite celebrity in recovery?             

A. To me, everyone in recovery is a celebrity. It takes courage, strength, and heart to choose a better life. I don’t think a famous name makes anyone’s story more important than another. Every person who chooses themselves deserves to shine.

Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?      

A. Mommy Goes to Meetings by Amy Liz Harrison. I’ve read it many times, and it will always have a special place in my heart. It gives mothers in recovery such a beautiful, simple way to help their children understand why Mommy goes to meetings. To me, it’s one of those little books with a very big message—and my favorite of all time.

Q. What books are you reading now?            

A. Right now, I’m reading Your Life, Your Rules by Wendy Behar, Expect Delays by Dr. Danielle Delaney, How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir by Molly Jong-Fast, and Under Our Roof: A Son’s Battle for Recovery, a Mother’s Battle for Her Son by Madeleine Dean and Harry Cunnane. Four very different books, but each one speaks to something I care deeply about—life, family, resilience, and becoming who we’re meant to

Q. If you were giving a dinner party for your 3 favorite authors, living or dead, who would they be? (You can choose a 4th if you think one might be too drunk or stoned to attend.) 

A. I’m breaking the rules and inviting four: Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Katharine Hepburn, and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Four fascinating women—strong, intelligent, elegant, and each completely unforgettable in her own way. Now THAT is a dinner table I’d love to sit at.

Q. Which film have you watched the most?

A. It’s a tie between Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Pretty Woman. I’ve probably seen both more times than I could count. There’s something timeless about them—the fashion, the characters, the stories, and that feeling that life can surprise you when you least expect it. They never lose their magic for me

Q. Who is your favorite film director?            

A. Nancy Meyers. I love the way her films make you feel—love, laughter, beautiful settings, and characters who remind us that life can surprise us at any age. There’s always something hopeful about the world she creates.

Q. What book would you most like to see turned into a movie or TV show that hasn’t already been adapted?        

A. Mommy Goes to Meetings* by Amy Liz Harrison. I’d love to see it become a beautiful children’s animated film. It could help families start conversations that aren’t always easy, in a way children can understand—with love, honesty, and hope at the heart of it.

Q. Are you binge watching any TV series?    

A. Right now, I’m binge-watching Ted Lasso, Shrinking, Lioness, Lucky, Yellowstone, and Dutton Ranch, to name a few. My taste is definitely all over the place—make me laugh, make me think, give me great characters and a great story, and I’m in.

Q. What is your favorite App?          

A. Calm. I love anything that reminds us that wellness isn’t just about how we look—it’s about how we feel. Taking even a few minutes to quiet your mind and reconnect with yourself can change your whole day.

Q. Who is your favorite performer, living or dead?    

A. I could never choose just one—there are too many magnificent artists. Barbra Streisand, Céline Dion, Frank Sinatra, Elton John, Tina Turner… each unforgettable in their own way. Great performers simply make you feel something.

Q. Who are your heroes in real life?               

A. My real-life heroes are the everyday people who choose to make a difference. The kind of people you see recognized as CNN Heroes—people who see a need and do something about it, without asking for recognition. To me, changing even one person’s life for the better is heroic.

Q. What are some of the most memorable songs in your life?                 

A. Pavarotti’s performance of “Nessun dorma” is especially iconic

Q. What is your favorite city?           

A. New York, always. The magic, the moments, the memories—and my White Party. Somehow, every time I’m there, New York gives me another reason to love it. It’s where some of the best parts of Sober is the New Cool have come to life. Anything really does feel possible there.

Q. What is your favorite cuisine?    

A. Japanese and seafood. Sushi and lobster are my absolute favorites. I could eat either one any day of the week

Q. What is the best concert/performance/play you’ve ever attended?                 

A. LA SCALA opera house in ITALY in 1992 FRA DIAVOLO
1988 AIDA VERDI’S grand opera in Montreal

Q. What are five things you always carry with you (not including cell phone, keys, wallet, or lipstick)?      

A. Five white hearts. I always carry them with me because you never know who might need to hear, “I’m glad you exist.” Five hearts, five people, five little reminders that someone matters.

Q. What is the best and or worse piece of advice someone has given you?         

A. Best advice: Believe in yourself. Never let anyone else decide what you’re capable of. If something matters to you, believe you can make it happen.

Worst advice: “You can’t do it.” Those four words can stop a dream before it even begins. I’d rather try, fall, learn, and try again than ever let someone else tell me what’s possible for me.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?            

A. You are more than enough. Believe in who you are and all the beautiful qualities that make you you. There is only one of you in this whole world—that alone makes you pretty special. Never forget that the world is better because you’re in it.

Q. What is your most treasured possession?                

A. My most treasured piece of jewelry is my matching tattoo with Nattie—the beautiful young woman who became the daughter I never had. She may no longer be here, but I carry our matching tattoos, and her, with me every single day.

Q. What do you value most in a friendship?

A. Trust — knowing you can be completely yourself with someone and your heart is safe in their hands.

Q. What do you consider your greatest achievement?               

A. My greatest achievement is what Sober is the New Cool and the White Heart Initiative have brought into my life—people from around the world, incredible connections, moments and memories I’ll carry forever. It showed me how something so small can become something so much bigger. One heart can change a moment; many hearts can change the world.

Q. What is your favorite compliment to receive, and why?        

A. The best compliment I’ve ever received came from Mike Ferrer of SoberPress.org:
“If hearts were made of gold, Kim’s would be platinum.”
I don’t think I could ever receive a compliment that means more to me than that.

Q. What is your biggest fear?           

A. Failing at something that truly matters to me. I dream big, I care deeply, and when I believe in something, I want to make it happen. But that fear also pushes me—it makes me work harder, believe bigger, and never give up on something I know can make a difference.

Q. Where do you go when you’re seeking solitude?  

A. By the water or in a quiet church. There’s a serenity I find in both—a sense of peace that quiets everything around me and gives me a moment to reconnect with myself and breathe.

Q. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?   

A. I’d want a magic wand that could take away people’s sadness and replace it with love and hope. Not change their story—just lighten their heart and remind them how much they matter. If I could give that gift to everyone, I would.

Q. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?   

A. A perfect day would be one more day with the people I’ve loved and lost. One more conversation, one more laugh, one more hug—and the chance to tell them one more time just how much I love them.

Q. What is your biggest regret?       

A. My biggest regret is never getting to hug Nattie in person. For eight years, she was the daughter I never had and such a gift in my life. This year, I finally made it to London—but instead of hugging her, I hugged her tree. I only wish I’d made that trip sooner.

Q. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?          

A. Going to London and meeting people I’d only ever known through the internet. I trusted my heart—and it turned into something beautiful

Q. Which living person do you most despise?              

A. No one. I may dislike someone, but I don’t despise anyone. I’d rather choose peace.

Q. What is something you’ve learned about yourself in the last six months?      

A. I’ve learned to believe in myself more. I know my worth, I know I’m enough, and I’m excited for everything that’s still ahead

Q. What is something you are currently curious about?            

A. I’m curious about what it will take to change the way we see wellness—less stigma, fewer labels, and more people simply wanting to feel good and live well.

Q. What do you love most about yourself? 

A. I love my heart. I love that I care about people, that I don’t judge, and that I’m always open to learning and loving more. Most of all, I love the life I’ve created and who I’ve become.

Q. What is your greatest extravagance?       

A. My greatest extravagance? Probably investing in my dreams—sometimes a little too generously—but always with my whole heart

Q. When did you realize you were a grown-up?          

A. I realized I was grown up when I got married at 31, left the comfort of home, and started building a family and a life of my own.

Q. How important are your pets to you?      

A. Chloe was so much more than my Goldendoodle. For 13 years, she was family, my girl, and simply part of who we were.

Q. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?    

A. Becoming the best version of ourselves.” And a very close second: “I’m glad you exist.”