Stephen Dansiger: Person of the Week

Stephen Dansiger is an entrepreneur, therapist, writer and musician. His company Haptech Holdings produces audio-haptic footwear that provides the in-concert experience when paired with bluetooth headphones, and has health and wellness applications. His first career was punk rock drummer, then high school teacher, therapist, and now tech co-founder.

http://www.drdansiger.com and https://haptechholdings.com

Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?

A. Alcohol was my best friend. I used everything else on top of it. My sobriety date is 3/9/1989.

Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety toolkit that helps keep you sober?

A. Still meetings, also meditation and prayer.  And laughing.

Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?

A. When all is said and done, my bottom was a spiritual bottom and an existential one, so I like the term spiritual malady. Also an illness of the mind and body.

Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?

A. I am from Brooklyn and Long Island originally, spent most of my adult life in New York City, and have been in LA since 2002.

Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?

A. Ready.

Q. Describe how you came to your “rock bottom” point.

A. I was a musician and a band that was going to the big time (so it seemed) broke up. The lead singer just disappeared just as we were going to release our second album. I tried to drink myself to death. A friend got me to my first meetings.

Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?

A. By the ocean.

Q. How do you measure success?

A. The amount of love I am able to give and receive.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. That my cat forgets that I just fed him.

Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?

A. I would spread it out across the country in a few cities to charities that deal with homelessness.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence throughout your life?

A. I have had a few. One of note is my friend Sören who is a Buddhist monk. He has been instrumental in helping me maintain my Buddhist practice for much of the last 30 years.

Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

A. Go for it.

Q. Which living person do you most admire?

A. I am going with my friend Sören one more time, with a shout out to all other folks besides him that work with the sick and dying in hospitals and hospice.

Q. What major event or realization shaped who you are?

A. My first gig at CBGB. It was the late 70s so the tail end of the rise of punk, but I was a 16 year old kid and that set the tone for the rest of my life.

Q. What sound or sounds do you most remember from your childhood?

A. My dad sitting at the turntable on Sunday and playing a mix of old rock and roll, folk, world music and show tunes. Also the sound of my mom cooking upstairs.

Q. What do you love most about living sober?

A. I love having clarity and being fully present and real. I love not making too big a mess of things anymore.

Q. Which part of your treatment and recovery do you feel was the most interesting or unexpected?

A. I didn’t expect to go back into music so when I toured and recorded sober that was super interesting and fun AF.

Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?

A. I practice Zen Buddhism, and my concept of a Higher Power is eclectic. Some days it’s very amorphous, other days it’s quite specific. I like the Buddhist cosmology of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and I look to them as part of my practice. I also take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.

Q. What is your Astrological sign?

A. Scorpio.

Q. Who is your favorite celebrity in recovery?

A. Ringo and Elton John.

Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?

A. The Big Book.

Q. If you were giving a dinner party for your 3 favorite authors, living or dead, who would they be?

A. Shakespeare, Maya Angelou, James Baldwin and Anne Lamott. I know Anne will not be drunk, but I can’t vouch for the others so I went with 4.

Q. Which film have you watched the most?

A. Wings of Desire.

Q. Who is your favorite film director?

A. Wim Wenders.

Q. Who is your favorite performer, living or dead?

A. The Beatles. I was afraid my 16-year-old would call that basic, but she loves the Beatles, especially George.

Q. Who are your heroes in real life?

A. My friend Mike who works hard for working people; my friend Tanya who works hard to bring mindfulness to DEI work; my friend Sören who works with the sick and dying.

Q. What are some of the most memorable songs in your life?

A. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Signed Sealed and Delivered (the first two songs I ever had charted for me for drums), several Clash songs, several Beatles songs.

Q. What is your favorite city?

A. New York.

Q. What is your favorite cuisine?

A. Tie for first between all of them with a special shout out to Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, Mexican and Italian. I love food.

Q. What is the best concert/performance/play you’ve ever attended?

A. Sigur Ros just recently at the Orpheum. But also a memory as a kid, the original cast of The Wiz on Broadway.

Q. What are five things you always carry with you?

A. Book to read, book to write in, pen.

Q. What is the best and or worse piece of advice someone has given you?

A. Best: My therapist said I should be a therapist, and that it is a creative field and he was right.

Worst: Don’t take risks.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?

A. Go ahead and become a therapist, the water’s fine.

Q. What is your most treasured possession?

A. She’s not a possession, but my daughter is my most treasured everything.

Q. What do you value most in a friendship?

A. Vulnerability and humor.

Q. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

A. Raising my daughter. Making records and touring. Living for a year at a Buddhist monastery. Helping people as a therapist. Helping people as a therapist trainer. Bringing my technology into the world.

Q. What is your favorite compliment to receive, and why?

A. “You are a very compassionate person,” because I strive to be so.

Q. Where do you go when you’re seeking solitude?

A. The Arroyo here on the east side of LA.

Q. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

A. I would love to still be able to play at punk rock tempo, I have lost a step.

Q. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

A. Friends, family, the beach or the mountains, an amazing breakfast (my favorite meal), a fabulous dinner, a concert.

Q. What is your biggest regret?

A. That I didn’t become the center fielder for the New York Yankees.

Q. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

A. I lived at a Buddhist monastery for a year. That level of introspection for a whole year felt like a risk, one that was well worth it.

Q. What is something you’ve learned about yourself in the last six months?

A. I learned that I am capable of overcoming huge obstacles between my ears and that I can successfully bring my technology into the world. The first products will be sold within days.

Q. What is something you are currently curious about?

A. The role of music, sound and vibration in healing addiction and trauma, in addition to Parkinson’s, Alzheimers and other diseases and problems. That is what my technology is about, so I am very curious to find out more through experience and research.

Q. What do you love most about yourself?

A. I love that I am loving and have the capacity to be loved. I also do love my sense of humor.

Q. When did you realize you were a grown-up?

A. Sometime last week. Woke up one morning, and was like, “Holy shit!”

Q. How important are your pets to you?

A. My kitties are extremely important. Snickers and Dorothy rule the house and I am just fine with it.