We all have a comeback inside us –
Nov. 27, 2020 – “When I drank, it was always to numb,” he said. “It was to not be anxious. It was to be liked. It was for me to like myself because I didn’t know who I was, and my self-esteem was all [messed] up. I was this guy who was this superstar, but I didn’t feel like that. When I would be around people, I would have to get myself into that type of zone to feel like that.
“And if I was going through something, I didn’t know that what I was going through was fear and unresolved trauma. I just associated it with anger, and I didn’t want to be angry, so [drinking] was my way of just trying to escape it.”
Smith told the newspaper that he worked in Kansas City last year detailing vehicles at a car dealership. He said he struggled to deposit initial paychecks because an expired passport was his only form of identification.
Smith said although failing to overcome his addiction at rehabilitation facilities in the past, he tried again in the past year at a center in Arizona. He credits the facility with changing his life.
“I was completely defeated,” Smith said. “I’m broke as hell. I’ve completely lost everything, and I’m at rehab again … I’ll never forget, in the detox when you first get there, I remember sitting in front of the fireplace, just kind of isolating. And this girl made me a plate of food without me even asking. And gave it to me.
“That was like ‘Somebody cares who doesn’t even know me.’ ”
One of Smith’s most bizarre episodes occurred in April 2014 when he was arrested at the Los Angeles International Airport after an incident with a Transportation Security Agency agent. According to authorities, Smith told the agent he was carrying a bomb. The Los Angeles City Attorney decided to drop the charges after further review.
Smith told the Morning News that his situation was exacerbated by negative portrayals in the media.
“I had a role in the situation, and I could have done things differently,” Smith said. “But at the end of the day, I didn’t write the story, and I didn’t create the narrative of how they wanted to portray me.