Satire NOT Virginia Satir –
April 28, 2018 – Early Twenties (Experimentation)
The woman behind the counter raises an eyebrow and scowls as she hands you twelve ounces of syrupy lavender-mocha latte buried under whipped cream. You don’t have time to figure out why baristas are such judgmental jerks. You have a midterm paper to write. You take a sip and think, hey, coffee’s not that bad. Now grab some sugar packets when no one’s looking and cram them into your pockets … Late Twenties (Regular Use).
“No sugar,” you declare. “I take it black.” Shoot a side-eyed glance at that kid over there with his blended-ice drink—amateur hour. Sorry they don’t serve Shirley Temples, geez. Give the barista a knowing nod as you step out into the street with your cup of shade-grown glory. You can definitely taste the shade. Anyone who knows anything about coffee knows that the shade is, like, really important.