Oct. 8, 2021 – Let’s get one thing straight: Someone being sober doesn’t automatically mean they’re in recovery or 12-stepping. Some people don’t like the taste of alcohol, others don’t like the feeling of being tipsy, and others have their own unique reasons. Don’t assume you know this person’s reasoning unless they tell you outright, which they don’t have to do.

You can ask, of course, respectfully, but don’t get pushy if they demur.

“You have no idea what drove them to be sober. Some have chosen sober life for religious reasons, allergies, prior addictions, bad experiences, simple dislike of the taste or feeling, or any other reason. Don’t be afraid to ask the reason. You’re not asking because of judgement. You are asking because the reason might give you more insight into who they are,” said Laurel House, a dating expert at eHarmony. She added it’s key to “give them time” to tell you their reasoning.


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