April 5, 2020 – Dear Enabler: I have two suggestions for you, and I hope you will avail yourself of both. The first is to go online to al-anon.org to find the nearest location for meetings (you will find they are all over) and attend some. Al-Anon is a sister organization of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it was founded to help and support the friends and family members of people who have an alcohol problem. It will help you to understand that YOU cannot help your friend. Only SHE can do that by mustering up the resolve to quit drinking. Many alcoholics do this only after they finally realize the consequences their addiction has cost them. In this case, the price may be her friendship with you.
The second is to tell your friend — while she is sober — that she cannot continue calling you when she has been drinking, and that if she does, you will hang up. Then do it.