Feb. 16, 2021 – My drinking started properly in 2001 at age 16. I’d recently moved high schools and although I’d begun to make new friends, I felt anxious. The instant relief drinking gave me felt amazing. Although I was quite a social and active teenager, when I would drink, there was no off-switch – I was convinced the more I drank the better I would feel. Instead, I would often black-out. This pattern progressed over the next eight years. By 21, I was studying for a communications degree, living in university halls, and drinking alone in my room. It also wasn’t unusual for me to carry vodka around in my drink bottle. I always drank for effect. When I was sober, I felt irritable, restless and discontent and I needed relief from my head. 

In mid-2006, when I was still 21, I attended my first recovery meeting. I drank before the meeting and subsequently decided it wasn’t for me. I thought I was too young and I hadn’t done half the ‘bad’ things that some other people had. 

Over the next three years I moved flats around eight times, always seeking to ‘start-over’. I was still at university and my alcoholism had progressed even further. I always needed to make sure I had enough alcohol at home and would catch taxis to liquor stores if I ran out. By this stage, I’d pushed a lot of my friends and family away as a result of my drinking. In hindsight, I’m lucky they had strong boundaries – this ultimately assisted my final demise and entry into recovery.



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