BOOK: Happiness by Matthieu Ricard –
MAY 8, 2020 – I was never really happy. Sometimes I would masturbate four to five times in one day or I would masturbate until it hurt. But no amount of sex, porn, or masturbation would ever truly satisfy me.
My breaking point was on sidewalk outside a Peet’s coffee in Davis, CA. It was the summer after my senior year of college and these two freshman-aged girls were walking ahead of me. This screaming animal urge inside me said, “WANT. MUST HAVE. LOOK. TOUCH!” In that moment I was reduced to a miserable pile of steaming shit … I remember thinking clearly, “I can’t keep living like this. If I don’t change something fundamental about my life, I’m going to end up a lonely, miserable, perverted old man who tries to pick up college girls at bars.” And then I had what felt like a nervous breakdown. I truly realized that if I didn’t do something, I would always be a pervert just looking for sex.
After that moment on the sidewalk, I knew something had to change. I went to a bookstore for books on positive psychology, which lead me to the book Happiness by Matthieu Ricard.
