May 1, 2020 – “When I think back to that night [when he wanted to end it all], I wonder how could I have been thinking like that? Imagine all I would have missed,” he says. “My thinking was completely gone by then. So whether it’s a parent or someone you really trust, I’d hope they’d put a hand out and say ‘Listen, this is going on in my life…’

“In your mind you may have built it up to be so bad and often one big thing you can deal with, but it’s the five or six little things that bother you and make you go and do something stupid. So just speaking to someone might change their thinking from where they were to where they need to be.

“There are plenty of bad days [in racing] and it’s not a nice place to be sometimes, sitting at home afterwards.”

In the film, Johnny also talks about how selfish he had to be as a jockey and the dieting he endured, but he’s also seen cheerfully greeting all his staff in his new role as trainer at his Co. Kildare stables, where he’s sent out the winner of the Ebor, the Irish St Leger and the Sandringham Stakes at Royal Ascot. He’s a whirlwind of positivity – his philosophy is “When you meet someone in the street, try to improve their day”.


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