STICKS AND STONES… –
May 18, 2021 – The audience cheered and clapped. And then the MC there at the MGM Grand announced my name and the whole auditorium just booed and hissed,” Leaf, who has since recovered from substance abuse and now works for ESPN, said on the “Charges with Rex Chapman” podcast.
“And it’s not like that hadn’t happened before,” the 45-year-old said. “You’re playing football and you’re on the opposing team’s field. But you’re wearing armor. My addict brain heard, ‘Not only are you a terrible football player, but you are an awful human being.’”
That night in 2004 he was offered vicodin and mixed it with alcohol.
“I didn’t feel that judgment, I didn’t feel that fear, I didn’t feel that less than. I didn’t feel anything,” Leaf said. “I didn’t feel better but it turns out I was just searching for that feeling of not feeling any of the feelings that I had been feeling for so long. I just wanted to numb out. And, that night changed. … And that would be the next eight years of my life, chasing that initial high from that night of not feeling it.”
