Mormons gone wild –
Dec. 9, 2020 – Jen goes outside with Heather to remind us that it cannot be later than 1 p.m. and to give Lisa a chance to stir the pot a bit further. They come back in so Mary can call Heather a hypocrite with “very many faces” and Jen a “ghetto hoodlum.” Jen then brings up a previous incident in which Mary told her that if there were Black people outside of a 7-Eleven, she would go to a different 7-Eleven. Absolute yikes. This feud keeps getting deeper and more insidious and seems destined to rage until the end of time. Jen finally leaves, and Mary asks for her $1,200 AirPods back. No word on the betta fish or the Women Helping Women in Business™ journal set, but it would have been nice to at least offer them up to Valter and Arturo as a drop in the restitution bucket.
The next day, the dust settles as Meredith gives Brooks the postgame report, Lisa tells her kid he’s getting two birthday parties, and Mary puts on the boots from her grandma’s high-school majorette uniform so she can pour protein powder into a blender and demand her housekeeper put on a beatboxing performance. Nothing to see here! At Heather’s house, we find out her ex is great at making his child-support payments and that Heather lets her daughter Ashley break ye olde Mormon rule about not going to multiple dances in a row with the same boy. Her boyfriend, Jaydon, plans actual dates and knows his way around the back end of the Supreme website, so here’s hoping they last long enough for us to see his hair reach tiny-ponytail length (we’re close! Maybe six more weeks). Heather also tells her daughters they can skip church the following day if they want, because what’s one more week without going? Say what you will about her “I’m not a regular mom — I’m a cool mom” energy, but this is merely giving kids age-appropriate agency in the face of community pressure not to, and, honestly, it’s really refreshing to see.
