ON A PINK CLOUD (SORT OF) –
Sept. 23, 2021 – And I was so humiliated in front of my sons, and their friends,” she continued. “And God knows that that’s all it takes for me — for that kind of sense of their mom looking drunk in front of them.
“But also, I thought, ‘I feel fine. What is happening in my brain? What is the alcohol doing to my brain where the synapses are misfiring to the point where I can’t say this word? And I’m trying to say it and I can’t say it.’ It’s almost like having a stroke or something. And it shook me up. And I thought, ‘That’s it. That’s it.’” Before that moment, Heaton had already seen herself potentially becoming an alcoholic “down the road.” A day earlier, she already had been seriously thinking about quitting.
“And there were a couple factors. Like my boys are in their 20s, it’s going to be at least probably 10 years before there’s a possibility of grandchildren, God willing,” she said.
“That would make me around 73. So, I just thought, I need to have my brain … It’s going anyway, I don’t want to add to it with the alcohol. So, I need to have my brain clean so I can be present if, God willing, I should get grandchildren in my 70s. And I also just felt like I am just drinking too much.”
“And so, I really started looking forward to drinking, and thinking about it in a way that I hadn’t before, when everything else was taken away. If we went out to dinner, I would have two cocktails before the meal, and then at least two glasses of wine, and then maybe an aperitif. And if I was with really good friends that I knew well, I would have three cocktails before dinner.”
