GRIEF MATTERS –
June 4, 2025 – People frequently say things like, “You have to get sober for yourself. You can’t get sober for anybody else.” But I got sober for my children. The first years of sobriety were tough. Money was tight. At one point, I worked three jobs.
I had to learn how to live with all of my emotions without the anaesthesia of alcohol. At first, it felt like my skin had been peeled off. What got me through that period was reminding myself that I was doing it out of love for my kids. We made a new life together. I built a good career, and the three of us became a happy little family with lots of laughter and joy. I used to think that the only thing that could make me drink again would be if something happened to my kids.
RJ was in a car accident in January of 2003. He was 16. He hadn’t taken alcohol or drugs, he was wearing his seatbelt and driving a couple of miles to his best friend’s house on a rainy night. His car was hit from the side in an intersection, and he sustained a very significant traumatic brain injury. He didn’t die that night, but what came in the years that followed compounded the trauma for all of us.
