PASSOVER APRIL 5th FULL MOON –
2023 – In an act of heartfelt encouragement for my infertility, people often like to point out the connection between my story and Chana’s in the book of Samuel. They encourage me that just as Chana was barren and she prayed for a child, so, too, should I pray, and I will be blessed with a child.
As flattered as I am that they would think to compare my prayers to Chana, I smile as they say it. Not for the reason anyone may think. I relate to a different part of the story.
When Eli, the High priest, told Chana that she was drunk with her own desire, she proved her innocence. Why had G‑d allowed Eli, a righteous person, to accuse Chana, a prophetess, of such a mistake? And how could Eli have made such a mistake in judgment?
It is for us to learn something from it. When a righteous person sins or is even accused of something, their “cracks” is where the light shines through. It is for the sake of the rest of the people.
My prayer for a child had holy gloss, but it burned my insides like vodka.
Professionals are often shocked when a person detoxes, gets their life on track and is no longer chemically addicted, and then bam, they relapse! As Rabbi Shais Taub puts it, the drug of choice is not the problem, it’s the solution. It is the solution to the pain that overwhelms them and threatens to overtake them every minute of every day. But this solution has a whole slew of side effects.
