Aug. 26, 2023 – Over the past 15 years or so he’s taken a downward spiral deeper into depression, self-loathing, and denial. In that time, he’s managed to alienate friends and family members. My father has never had a lot of friends in his adult life, but these days, no one calls or visits. 

He has become more and more emotionally abusive toward my mother and me over the years. Alcoholism has hardened his heart so much that I have never met another person so miserably full of hate and resentment. 

He fills his days with watching the news, smoking, drinking, and napping. On Thanksgiving Day, he drank so excessively that he was unable to walk outside to smoke. My mother and I spent most of that night picking him up off the off floor and walking him to or from his bedroom. This went on into the early hours of Friday morning. Friday night was a similar experience, but with more anger and shouting. 

He was transported to the hospital this morning, making it his third time this year and fifth time in the last 2 years. The last time he was in the hospital, he spent the following month in a nursing home. That was not quite three months ago. This time, he will likely spend the rest of his life in a nursing home.