December 16, 2025 – I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with advanced training in clinical psychology and business. Drawing on years of individual and family therapy—and my own experience navigating addiction and loss— today my daughter Lyle (who is also a therapist) help families and individuals who are in the trenches with family addiction. We help families and individuals who are in the trenches with family addiction. We have a monthly membership and also an Instagram platform @helpwithfamilyaddiction.

healingfamilyaddiction.com

Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?

A. My first Al-Anon meeting was in March 2003. Over the course of my 16-year-marriage I lost myself to my fears, focusing on everything I could not control and unable to take accountability for my own enabling behavior and lack of self-care. I was that my marriage was blowing up because of my husband‘s drinking. My kids at the time we were young and there was a lot of drama in my family. My husband had been on two years of dialysis from his type one diabetes and that combined with addiction was dynamite.

Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety toolkit that helps keep you sober?

A. Absolutely! My daily practice of self-care and my relationship with my higher power. I have an app on my phone called hourly chime. I’ve been using it for years and there is no work involved. When I hear that little Tibetan bowl chime I say a prayer of gratitude, do a body check and automatically feel like I’ve given myself an emotional hug.

Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?

A. My experience is that addiction is an illness and a response to trauma, progressively growing into an untamed disease. I do not believe it’s a choice. That’s said, it is a choice whether we want to be willing to be willing to get better.

Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?

A. I grew up in West Los Angeles. In 2010 I relocated to Agoura Hills and now I’m living in Thousand Oaks.

Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?

A. Resilient.

Q. Describe how you came to your “rock bottom” point.

A. I have a lot of shame around this evening and for the longest time cringed when I thought about it. There were years of drama and struggling with low blood sugars, 911 calls and trying to shield my young kids from my husband’s Alcoholism. One Christmas time party my husband and kids went to someone’s home for dinner. My husband became completely drunk and I was beside myself. My daughters wanted to go see the lights in this beautiful neighborhood in Pasadena California and I had to pretend my husband was low on blood sugar and that we needed to get him home. That night as he lay on the couch, slowing his words my daughters and I took videos of him, and the next day showed him in hopes that he would realize he needed to get well. What I learned the morning we showed him the videos when I saw his face is that I not only fractured something between us, but I was sicker than him. That night was over 20 years ago and to this day, I remember it. It was the event that woke me up to my own illness. It was a turning point for me, and I became willing to be willing to change myself no matter what my husband was willing to do?

Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?

A. I would probably prefer to live by the ocean. I feel completely grounded when I hear the waves. I keep a beach chair in my car and often times will go sit at the shore at sunset. I find it fills my cup and I always feel closest to my higher power there.

Q. How do you measure success?

A. At this point in my life, success is about self-care, honest relationships, financial hygiene, and daily laughter.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. My biggest pet peeve is seeing someone throw trash out of the car, having a total disregard for how it will affect the neighborhood they are in, the animals that might get harmed from eating it and the people who have to see it.

Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?

A. It would likely be Homeboy Industries. I love Father Greg Boyle, and what he has done to help boys that have been caught up in the gang system. He has changed so many lives and helped rehabilitate so many people and those people pay it forward. It’s a beautiful thing.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence throughout your life?

A. I had a nanny named Carmel. I was the youngest of five and just young enough from the other four siblings therefore spent a lot of my time with her. She was the most positive person I’ve ever met. She didn’t make a lot of money and seeing her and the way she lived, made me realize my most important lesson. Happiness is an inside job and well money can make life easier. It cannot buy happiness. Carmel had a dream to own a house. In spite of having colon cancer and pain for her medical bills of over $50,000 she was able to save enough money to pay her medical bills and to buy a home in Las Vegas and realize her dream. I never heard her complain. She was raised in Ireland and immigrated over to be a nanny for my parents and was at my house the day I came home from the hospital. She was in my life always and I was with her the day she passed. I aspire to live my life like Carmel.

Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

A. It’s OK to have a voice. It’s OK to have your feelings. It’s OK to say no.

Q. Who made you feel seen growing up?

A. Carmel. I love my mom and dad, but they were very busy with work and volunteering and my four siblings who were close together in age. For my formative years, Carmel was my person. She was always there to listen.

Q. What major event or realization shaped who you are?

A. That’s really hard to say. I’ve been being shaped my whole life, and as I have become committed to learning and growing, I have grown into who I am today. I would have to say Al-Anon had a profound effect on providing an environment for wellness.

Q. What do you love most about living sober?

A. I love letting go of what I cannot control. That’s not to say I don’t feel anxious or that historical feeling of “I’m in trouble” but I have the tools to live an emotionally sober life.

Q. Which part of your treatment and recovery do you feel was the most interesting or unexpected?

A. I had been in Al-Anon for seven years when my daughter hit her rock bottom with her addiction. I thought I knew it all at that point but honestly, dealing with my husband‘s addiction versus my daughter‘s addiction were too completely different experiences. I was surprised by how little I knew and how much I needed to learn. It felt like I was starting all over in my own sobriety.

Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?

A. My higher power is in all the things I see and feel when I am in nature and all the things I don’t see when I’m meditating or praying. I feel a deep connection to something beyond my living body and find solace that I do not need words to feel this connection.

Q. What is your Astrological sign?

A. Scorpio.

Q. Who is your favorite celebrity in recovery?

A. I love Jamie Lee Curtis and her honesty.

Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?

A. Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

An Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

A Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor Bradford

Q. What books are you reading now?

A. Currently, I’m reading Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Dr. Rachel Heller.

Q. Which film have you watched the most?

A. Every Christmas I watch the Bishop’s Wife. I’ve seen Working Girl many times. I love her courage and her ability to take risks so she could live a better life.

Q. Who is your favorite film director?

A. Probably Ridley Scott. He is such a talent!

Q. What book would you most like to see turned into a movie or TV show that hasn’t already been adapted?

A. A House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout. Her memoir of surviving 460 days of captivity in Somalia, told with stark honesty and emotional depth was co-written with Sara Corbett. The memoir is a complete page turner. It brings together  how imagination, hope, and inner strength helped her endure profound trauma.

Q. Are you binge watching any TV series?

A. I just finished season two of Nobody Wants This – LOVE!

Q. What is your favorite App?

A. Hourly chime.

Q. Who are your heroes in real life?

A. My daughters. In spite of the trauma they grew up with they are the most emotionally intelligent, kind, and motivated humans. I am inspired by them.

Q. What are some of the most memorable songs in your life?

A. Let it Be by The Beatles.

Saturday in the Park by Chicago.

The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles.

Wild World, Peace Train by Cat Stevens.

Harvest, Moon, and Southern Man by Neil Young.

And so many more…..

Q. What is the best concert/performance/play you’ve ever attended?

A. Ed Sheeran at Staples Center. He performed solo with his guitar and it was the most amazing experience to see him live.

Q. What are five things you always carry with you?

A. Band-Aids, Kleenex, a hair tie, some cash, my water bottle.

Q. What is the best and or worse piece of advice someone has given you?

A. The best advice I ever received was from my father. He said “if something has to give don’t let it be you.” It took me years to understand the true meaning of this.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?

A. Probably to focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot control. It’s pretty much my inner mantra.

Q. What is your most treasured possession?

A. A red pillow with a needlepoint square in the middle of my beloved late Teddy Bear. He was my puppy for 14 years and will always have my heart.

Q. What do you value most in a friendship?

A. Honesty.

Q. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

A. Definitely my emotional sobriety. It has made me a better Mom and now grandma to my two granddaughters.

Q. What is your favorite compliment to receive, and why?

A. Someone told me today that I touched their heart. And hearing that touched mine.

Q. What is your biggest fear?

A. Fear.

Q. Where do you go when you’re seeking solitude?

A. The beach. I find solitude when I hear the waves crash over and over again.

Q. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

A. To consistently be focused on the present. I work hard at this, but certain traumas from my past keep me future tripping. While my wise self knows to redirect myself, I look for the day when I don’t have to do that at all.

Q. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

A. My morning routine of stretching, meditating, and making my favorite protein shake and filling the picnic basket with yummy treats. Then meeting up with family and friends for a day at the beach followed by a relaxing evening. Tomorrow my perfect day may look differently, depending on my need for stimulation and rest.

Q. What is your biggest regret?

A. My biggest regret is not taking better care of myself with respect to the amount of stress I have endured over the past 30 years.

Q. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

A. Jumping off a 50 foot cliff in Boulder, Colorado without knowing how shallow the water was below me. I was clearly not in my right mind and partying a lot in college. Fortunately, I survived the thrill.

Q. What is something you’ve learned about yourself in the last six months?

A. I am currently going through a pretty big transition. I’ve always thought I was resilient and able to forgive, but I was put to the test recently. I now know my capacity for bouncing back and forgiving, realizing forgiveness is for my own inner peace.

Q. What do you love most about yourself?

A. My perseverance, to be my best self.

Q. What is your greatest extravagance?

A. Most definitely a spa day!

Q. How important are your pets to you?

A. Pets touch my soul in a way that humans don’t. Whether it’s horses or dogs, I feel like they are absolutely perfect. They offer unconditional love, and definitely horses are the most grounded, gentle giants to be around.