DEBBIE KASPER is one of the most versatile forces in the entertainment industry—and a darling of the press. Besides being a two-time Emmy nominated writer, an award-winning comedienne, and international humor author, she is a theatrical producer and director. Kasper is also a stand-out stand-up comic who has been blowing audiences away for over 25 years. Her essays have been featured on numerous websites, and she has contributed humorous essays to two published anthologies. Her own book of personal essays A Poke in the Eye with a Sharp Stick—Promises my Parents Made, is out now.  

Debbie has written for the seminal sitcom “Roseanne” & other TV shows, garnering two Emmy nominations for“The Rosie O’Donnell Show.”  She co-wrote and directed the stage shows,“Self – Help: the Comedy,” and “BoomerMania the Musical,” both of which received rave reviews and toured extensively. |

She’s a master of the one-person show format having won The Drama Logue award and rave reviews for her first one-woman show. Debbie’s alter ego, and star of her second one-woman show; Zelda Bing, is the author of the hilarious book, “There’s Men Every-where, If Your Lower Your Standards!” 

After a several year hiatus, due to personal reasons, Debbie’s back. And she’s bringing her new one-woman show “Has Anybody Seen Debbie?” to Off-Broadway, the show won the 2019  “Best Comedian” award at the United Solo Fest. 

Debbie has toured the country, and beyond on cruise ships, bringing her special brand of ‘tell it like it is’ comedy to a wide audience. Whether it be comedy set, a one-woman show, a play, an essay, a book, or a musical. Debbie is still dedicated to healing America one laugh at a time!

https://www.debbiekasper.com

Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?

A. My sobriety date is Jan 14th, 1995. I’ve got 30 years. I haven’t had a drink for 34 years—my drug of choice—but let’s not exclude all the pot and coke and whatever you have, I’ll take it!) But I smoked pot for the first four years, of my sobriety, Ooops!  That’s what happened to me, since I stopped going to meetings ten months in. I thought I was “cured.” So, around year five I dropped the four years, and I started counting days, again once I had truly surrendered. I guess that makes me a relapser! I tried every way possible to keep the time, continually telling everyone that I couldn’t find the word “pot” in the big book. My sponsor said, “So you lied?” and I said, “You didn’t ask!” I had it all worked out— justifying to myself. But you know…the road gets narrower.

Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety toolkit that helps keep you sober?

A. I hit my knees every morning and do the third step prayer.  I have a fabulous sponsor, who has made big differences in my sobriety—I sponsor—and I am of service to people in and out of the rooms.  I go to meetings, usually at least three a week. I don’t know which of those things keeps me sober, so I continue to do it all to the best of my ability.  At this point, my life is A.A., my thoughts, my philosophy, and my friends—all A.A.

Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?

A. I think it’s a disease. I know for a fact that I was born an alcoholic. First, both parents, three grandparents, all my brothers, several of my aunts,  and uncles are  or were all alcoholic. It’s genetic. I had feelings of emptiness and a disconnect as a young child.  It would come and go, but it was a dark, dark sensation that I never knew what it was, until I came into the rooms, and heard that phrase “restless, irritable, discontent,” I realized then, that that was it! That’s what my default position was from jump street. I didn’t feel comfortable in my skin, didn’t feel a part of my family, couldn’t connect with things. And the list goes on of all the things I couldn’t feel, including love. I’d be in a room filled with family members who I KNEW loved me, but it just didn’t get through emotionally, and I’d feel so isolated.

Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?

A. I’m from Cherry Hill, New Jersey. I live in Los Angeles now.

Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?

A. Rebellious and irreverent. Oh—wait that’s two, but you see…I’m rebellious.  But also…accepting. Now I’m up to three…but you see, I’m special so I get three.

Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?

A. ALL of them. I want it all. I have big greedy arms reaching for many things.

Q. How do you measure success?

A. By how many people you love and how many people love you.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. People who talk incessantly about nothing.

Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?

A. Animal rescue, probably local places, since I worry about big organizations who raise money and keep most of it. And women’s shelters, also local.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence throughout your life?

A. Probably my older brother, Reid, who was one of us.

Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

A. YOU’RE PERFECT! Love yourself!  Find real things to obsess over!

Q. Who made you feel seen growing up?

A. Again, my older brother, Reid. He was very very cool from the minute he opened his mouth. He “got” me.  He probably saved me more than I even know.  Making people laugh always has made me feel “seen.” It’s as if, I’ve always known on some level that that is my purpose.

Q. What is a phrase that has kept you sober during challenging times?

A.Take the next indicated action.

Q. What major event or realization shaped who you are?

A. The day I walked into an AA meeting.

Q. What do you love most about living sober?

A. Well…everything, I think the best thing is knowing that love is about giving it away—not receiving it. I took years for me to “get” that. I love waking up in the morning and not saying, “ugh.” Seriously, I wake up in gratitude and joy—and that sure isn’t who I was. Every day used to be… “yuck, what, now?”

Q. What is something you swore you would never do, but did anyway, in recovery?

A. I gained a lot of weight—several times. I remember seeing a woman speaking at a meeting, early on, talking about over-indulging on ice cream, and she’d gained all this weight, and something about how that’s what she has to do to not drink. And I sat in my beginner’s seat, judging, thinking, “Loser! That won’t happen to me!” I once heard in a meeting that you become what you judge, and I don’t know if it’s a fact, but it has sure been my experience, several times.

Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?

A. My higher power is a shapeshifter. Sometimes it’s nature. I sometimes think it’s merely a better, more evolved and much more spiritual version of myself. Sometimes it’s my dead father, or my brother, Reid, or my partner, Pat who died. Or sometimes I think that LOVE is my higher power. Not romantic love but making loving decisions towards everyone and everything. I’m not saying I can do that perfectly or even every day. But to me, usually, “love is the answer to all my problems today.”

Q. What is your Astrological sign?

A. I am a Leo.

Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?

A. NAKED by David Sedaris.

Q. What books are you reading now?

A. I read five books at once. It’s insane. I prefer non-fiction, I read a lot of history books. I’m fascinated by history. I also love to read about language and how it has evolved.

Q. If you were giving a dinner party for your 3 favorite authors, living or dead, who would they be? (You can choose a 4th if you think one might be too drunk or stoned to attend.)

A. David Sedaris, Mark Twain, and Kurt Vonnegut.

Q. Which film have you watched the most?

A. I watch many films several times—so much to glean. “The Godfather” saga, probably. Also, “The Notebook, (The most schmaltzy, romantic story of all time.)

Q. What book would you most like to see turned into a movie or TV show that hasn’t already been adapted?

A. My book!

Q. Are you binge watching any TV series?

A. I only binge watch. If it doesn’t make me want to watch it till it’s over, I’m out of there. I also re-watch shows. I’d rather watch something great, twice, than something mediocre once.

Q. Who is your favorite performer, living or dead?

A. Robin Williams and Bruce Springsteen. Both are electric on stage, both have enlightened, and profoundly moved me.

Q. What are some of the most memorable songs in your life?

A. Thunder Road, (Springsteen), because it connects me to my deceased partner, who turned me on to Springsteen.  I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, probably because it evokes memories of those glory high school days, when I felt free since I’d already started partying. But I had no clue that I was heading down the path to destruction. I just thought I’d found my solution, so it was a great time, and to this day I sing my heart out if it comes on.

Q. What is your favorite city?

A. NYC! Lived there for many years. Miss it every day. That’s where I bottomed out and sobered up. It’s a great place to drink! And I love the theatre, so that’s the place. I also love Rome. I don’t know why, but it just turns me on, probably the history.

Q. What is your favorite hotel?

A. So many gorgeous ones. The Hershey hotel in Hershey PA. It’s on the National Registry. The Grove in Asheville, N.C., also on the National Historic registry.

Q. What is your favorite restaurant?

A. People’s Pizza (for cheesesteaks) in Cherry Hill New Jersey.

Q. What is your favorite cuisine?

A. Really good barbecue, the kind you get in Memphis, or Texas.

Q. What is a style trend you wish would come back?

A. The trend of watching out for one another and the days when “The Golden Rule” was still a thing.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?

A. “Take action and  let go of the results.”

Q. What is one thing that always makes you smile?

A. PUPPIES! Key lime pie.

Q. What is your biggest fear?

A. That America is disintegrating. I will have to find somewhere else to live.

Q. Where do you go when you’re seeking solitude?

A. I love to walk in beautiful surroundings or in interesting new places like cities.  Walking by the ocean is a meditation to me.

Q. What is your biggest regret?

A. That I have spent so much of my life thinking that I’m not enough. I know that I am, now, in my head. But I can still fall back into that dis-illusion on a bad day especially if I haven’t treated my “alcoholism.”

Q. What is the hardest amends you’ve ever had to make?

A. To my first love, whom I ‘d blamed for decades for ruining my life and robbing me of the ability to ever trust anyone again. I was waiting for him to make amends to me for many years, sitting in wait as a “victim.”  Then, I came to believe that I had a part in it all. Hit me like a shitstorm, one day. I just couldn’t see it for years, and as a result I was in this multi-decade obsession with him. When I finally made amends to him, I was relieved of that. It was a miracle. Progress, not perfection.

Q. When did you realize you were a grown-up?

A. Still waiting!