Amee Gray is a social anthropologist and an educator. She has mostly worked in healthcare for the majority of her career but was also an elementary school teacher. Amee was born in Ohio and grew up in Massachusetts, but has spent most of her adult life in California. She is a survivor of some things. A single mom. And is having a human experience every day.

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Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?

A. Nicotine July 17, 2004. I don’t think most people consider that being sober, but I know I was mentally and physically addicted for a long time, and I made a lot of bad choices back in the day due to my smoking.

Q. What do you like most about 12-step meetings?

A. The honesty. The vulnerability. The accountability. The kindness.

Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?

A. I watched my dad suffer for years with the disease. I watched my dad try to recover. I watched the disease reclaim him many times. I watched it warp his perceptions and make bad choices. My dad had severe learning disabilities and mental health issues long before he started using but he had a disease inside of him and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Q. Who is your favorite celebrity in recovery?

A. I loved the way Robert Downey Jr. shared his recovery story with the world. I think he helped a lot of people recognize the disease inside of them. He showed people through his actions that there is power and joy in recovery.

Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?

A. I don’t care where I live as long as it’s close to my daughter.

Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety Toolkit that helps keep you sober?

A. Well to be honest I used Chantix to quit smoking, and I haven’t craved a cigarette since. 2 weeks of insane dreams and I was set free from my dependence on nicotine. I would do it again because my life is substantially better now that I’m not constantly thinking about my next cigarette.

Q. How do you measure success?

A. I don’t.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. I have Misophonia so loud chewing, gum snapping, loud typing.

Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?

A. St. Judes.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence throughout your life?

A. Me. I influenced the hell out of myself. I could of stayed stuck in it so many times. But I didn’t.

Q. From what school of thought or teacher did you learn the most from?

A. Howard Zinn.

Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?

A. I was born in Mansfield, Ohio. I grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts specifically East Cambridge, which is a whole thing and I’ve lived in Los Angeles, California since 1995.

Q. If you were giving a dinner party for your 3 favorite authors, living or dead, who would they be?

A. Elena Ferrante, Isabella Allende, Howard Zinn, Kristin Hannah, David Sedaris, Kate Manne, so many more….

Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?

I don’t have a good or clever answer for this. I pray a lot. I don’t do so with any vision of an entity but more with the knowledge that my time and existence here on this planet is limited. I want to do my best to leave every person I meet with a sense that I am fair and helpful as a friend, family member, community member and I hope that trying my best makes me worthy of this life. But I don’t have any expectations that anything I do on earth grants me any access to a place beyond the stars or in a dungeon of torture and fire. Heaven and hell is here on earth.

Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?

A. None. I will go back into a book to find quotes or facts, but I don’t have time to read a book twice.

Q. Which film have you watched the most?

A. Goodies, Peewee’s Big Adventure, Love Actually, and Gladiator.

Q. Who is your favorite film director?

A. Wes Anderson.

Q. What surprised you most about living sober?

A. I can’t claim that because I’m not technically an addict. I’ve never had to have a discipline to not drink or use any substances because I really think watching my dad suffer through addiction scared me a lot however, since I stopped using nicotine, I will tell you one of my favorite things has been not worrying that I have lung cancer every time I have a mild cough or a tickle in my throat.

Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

A. Be nicer to your mom.

Q. What books are you reading now?

A. Kasher in the Rye by Moshe Kasher, Down Girl by Kate Manne and How Not to Kill Yourself by Clancy Martin.

Q. What is your favorite App?

A. Solitaire.

Q. Are you binge watching any TV series?

A. Only Murders in the Building, The Old Man, Homeland, the Diplomat, The Lincoln Lawyer (I loved the Michael Connelly books)

Q. What is your favorite play or musical?

A. Godspell, Kinky Boots, and Wicked.

Q. Who is your favorite performer, living or dead?

A. Tina Turner.

Q. What is your favorite musician and or band?

A. Snoop, U2, Taylor Swift, Tribe Called Quest, and Lana Del Rey.

Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?

A. Pensive.

Q. What is your favorite city?

A. I love all cities. Every time I visit a new city, I proclaim that it’s my favorite city. I love any metropolitan area that brings a lot of diversity in culture, food, and music. These are the things that make me happy, so I love being in the city. Any city.

Q. What sport(s) do you like to play or watch?

A. I love baseball growing up in Boston. I became a huge fan of the Red Sox. But I also cheer for the Dodgers here in Los Angeles because LA is my home and has been good to me and when the Dodgers win, they make the city so happy!

Q. What is your favorite restaurant?

A. I don’t have a favorite. I like to brag about the fact that I am a member of the Yelp elite squad because I write a lot of reviews. I try to keep my reviews positive and focus on what the good experience was at each place I visit. Every once in a while, I will Criticize a restaurant, but I try to be constructive in my criticism, but I love food. I’m always thinking of my next meal, and I really appreciate it when other people cook and serve me. The whole experience of eating for me is my favorite.

Q. What is your favorite cuisine?

A. I mostly enjoy cooking my mother’s Italian recipes and this is the food I’m most familiar with. But when I go out, I love Mexican food, Thai food, Puerto Rican food, Cuban, Greek, Persian…I love to eat.

Q. What is the best piece of advice someone has given you?

A. I used to say “I’m worried” a lot. My mother told me to stop saying I’m worried and start saying “I’m concerned.” It helped me reduce my anxiety.

Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?

A. I don’t know that I’ve ever given anybody “good “advice. Mostly I try to be encouraging and lift people up and I also try to acknowledge that I don’t have any of the right answers.

Q. Have you ever been arrested and, if so, what for

A. For the most part, I am a rule follower.

Q. What is one thing that always makes you smile?

A. My daughter’s smile.

Q. What was the proudest moment in your life?

A. I was proud of myself when my daughter graduated school because being a single mom is really hard and we survived a lot together, so I was proud of her and me together that we got through the first 18 years.

Q. What is a style trend you wish would come back?

A. I’m in my sweatpants phase. I can’t recall anything I loved wearing more than my track suit.

Q. What do you love most about yourself?

A. My family and my friends.

Q. What are five things you always carry with you?

A. Narcan, tampons, hand cream, a couple sugar packets.

Q. What is your biggest fear?

A. I have no “fears” I don’t do dangerous things because I’m not a lucky person.

Q. Where do you go when you want to be alone?

A. My head.

Q. What is your biggest regret?

A. Smoking cigarettes, not spending more time with my mom.

Q. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

A.  Starting my own company with every dime to my name.

Q. What is something you are currently curious about?

A. Everything. I am curious and slightly suspicious of everything.