Philip Lawrence’s Life Is Brighter In Sobriety

THE MUSIC MAN –

April 7, 2022 –

Q: We’re surrounded by sobriety-inspired artwork and books here in your house, it’s clearly something that’s important to you and that you’re proud of, as you should be. How has that journey been for you?

A: It’s the best decision that I’ve ever made. I always believed it was unattainable. I thought that I was who I was: You’re going to be the life of the party, you’re going to drink too much, you’re going to have a hangover, you may have to apologize for a couple of things you did or said, and life goes on. But for me, the alcohol and the drugs and the lifestyle just took a toll on me. And it sucked the joy out of living for me. I’m on the road, performing in places that I’ve never even knew existed, and they don’t speak our language, but they’re singing our songs. But I’m in this place of restricted gratitude, because I’m so profoundly grateful that I’m living my dream, but I can’t enjoy it because I’m encumbered by this disease, this addiction, and this need to fill some sort of void that I was born with. And finally, that reached a fever pitch, and it led me to rehab. It was there that I discovered there’s another way to live. I’m in a room full of guys, and they’re all being honest and vulnerable and sharing about very intimate things. I’ve never really experienced that before, and I was hooked. For so long, I lived a portion of my life in the dark, and hid behind lies, and was definitely afraid of the truth, the truth of that kind of lifestyle. What sobriety has shown me is the other side of confronting those lies, and finding that truth, and how much brighter life is supposed to be.

Q: How have you found songwriting and performing since being sober?

A: It was scary at first. I couldn’t take a couple of shots before I start, which used to just be part of the process. And there’s this culture around the entertainment industry where drinks and other stuff are just accepted. But as an addict, I had to come to terms with that, and not hide behind the fact everyone was at it. Not everyone is an addict, there are a lot of people who can party and be okay. Once I got honest about what was really going on with me, then I could get some help. But I was certainly afraid that I would lose my creativity, that I wouldn’t be cool, that I wouldn’t have any more ideas. Who am I without this thing? But I’ve found that I’ve been more creative than I have ever been in my life. I have more clarity, more stamina, less anxiety. And when you feel better about yourself, your art is better. I had to ask myself what kind of life do I want, and especially having kids, what kind of father do I want to be. Kids notice if you’re present or not, and sobriety has just really taught me to enjoy the little moments, and appreciate what is important in life.