July 20, 2019 – She checked herself back into treatment. Detox and recovery were more difficult this time. When I talked to her, she didn’t sound like herself, and I wondered if her beautiful mind had been destroyed forever. My sleepless nights came back in full force. I paced the house during the early morning hours. I cried. I prayed to all the gods I did and didn’t believe in. I felt like I was in a constant state of adrenaline-infused panic that was impossible to shake. I felt angry and helpless, but more than anything, I felt scared.
The statistics on recovery are disheartening. About 40-60% of addicts will relapse at least once, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. For some, treatment becomes a revolving door that decimates the user, their family and everyone’s bank accounts. It’s expensive. Many insurance plans don’t cover it. Waiting lists for treatment can last for years, yet many addicts don’t have years, or even months. Our family was lucky because my ex and I both had jobs with decent insurance, and we were even luckier in that the Affordable Care Act kept our daughter on our insurance until age 26.
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