‘Lockdown had me drinking again’

Vigilance always –

Dec. 6, 2020 – From the beginning of lockdown in March, Pam had been fighting a losing battle. As AA meetings began shutting their doors she was forced inside to face her demons alone.

“I had a phone call from someone in the fellowship saying, the meetings are not on tonight. So that kind of threw me,” said Pam.

“I do a lot of voluntary work and I was told that wasn’t going on. Schools shut, my child was at home, and within a week my whole structure went out the window. I couldn’t cope with that.

“I spent years building that routine. I am not that great being on my own. I went on a bit of a mad few weeks. I was cleaning everywhere, I started decorating, and I threw myself into this panic.”

Pam has battled with mental health issues for years and the lockdown had only made matters worse.

She said: “I’m so used to being out of the house. I’m so used to doing things for others.

“There’s only so much cleaning, there’s only so much decorating you can do. I gave up. I think it just got to that breaking point.

“It got to the point where I did pick up a drink eventually. I felt bad enough the next day after it happened, thankfully it was just a one night thing. I don’t even know why it came into my head. But it seemed like the best idea in the world at the time.

“I was really annoyed. I threw that sober time away. I can’t sit and dwell on it too much because I’d still be drinking now.”