June 27, 2023 – He smiled. “Think about quitting drinking as a travel adventure. It will be different and awkward and make you nervous. You’ll have to navigate new social dynamics, connect with people in new ways. It will feel uncomfortable to begin with. Foreign. But in amongst those feelings, you’ll be exploring, discovering. Looking at the horizon like you described. And at the end of each day, after each milestone, will be that familiar sense of achievement.”
I left feeling motivated. Sobriety was unfamiliar territory but framed through the lens of travel, exploration and adventure? I enjoyed navigating those things.
A couple of days later I strode into the local pub to meet some friends. I’d managed to avoid drinking since seeing the psychiatrist but socialising would be the real test. I’d developed a plan to ward off peer pressure. October had just ticked over so I would say I’d signed up for Ocsober. For health reasons.
I was hyperaware as I glanced around the venue. Awash with a familiar, excitable nervousness: things felt foreign. I remember being unsure how to engage people. Struggling a bit to make conversation as I sipped on my soda water. Feeling tight in the chest, the same way I did when I had to ask a stranger for directions in a new country.
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