Jan. 19, 2024 – Alcohol addiction and depression stalked Allie Bailey daily. Running was part of the many steps to a better life, recounted in her memoir There is No Wall. This no-holds-barred extract is about the extraordinary challenge of taking part in the Wild Horse 200 mile race. Published 11 April 2023Age: 42Months sober: 21Years running: 15Listen to: ‘The Whole of the Moon’ – The Waterboys‘ Allie. What are you doing? Come on. You have trained so hard for this. You have put so much time, effort and money into this. This is your life. You are living your life RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT and you are ruining it by not switching on and having a calm conversation with yourself. Nobody expects anything of you, and if they do, that’s on them. It’s nothing to do with you. I know you feel tired, I know you feel stressed out, but it’s all manageable. You are hungry. You know you are. Let’s sort this out, shall we? Let’s get you some proper food. Text Lorna. Call Julius. Arrange to meet them on the course. Arrange for them to meet you earlier. We can manage this together and get you a sandwich. I know your stomach is upset, but we can sort that out with proper food. Nobody died from shitting themselves on a race. At least I don’t think anyone has. We can google that later. ANYWAY listen to me, Allie. Listen. You just need to keep going to the next CP then make a decision. Things can change. You know they can. I promise you that things can feel better. Remember: you are doing the best you can and that is enough. Can I just mention this first lady thing? That’s great, but it’s not defining your worth. None of this does. You’re doing fucking great. Other people’s opinions are their opinions. You’re here to enjoy yourself. Remember? You love this place. You love running, you love the challenge. It’s OK you’re finding it hard – it is hard! So find it hard, wallow about in it and suck it up. You can’t pay for this type of experience, can you?
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