‘Delusions’ and ‘Paranoia’: What Are They, Really?

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Dec. 15, 2023 – So many words get thrown around these days—words which define extreme states, or try to, in a way that diminishes the human beings who live through them. Such words don’t factor in the impact of traumatic experiences and the new, internal realities they create for people, sometimes for decades.

I’ve repeatedly seen this with my wife. More than that, I’ve lived through it, doing my best to help her navigate such states and move beyond them. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned a few lessons along the way that I’d like to share. One is that such commonly used words don’t come close to conveying the lived experience I’ve witnessed firsthand.

For instance, what are “delusions”? Here’s a basic definition from the internet: “a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.”

To me, this kind of sounds like a more specific way to define “psychosis,” and hence the quotation marks around the word, as I have issues with that one as well. I never thought my wife was “delusional” even after I became aware of the word’s popular use, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t at times struggle with some of the things various parts of my wife believed as they left their forced isolation and began to live outside with me. So let me share some experiences and see where I failed and where I succeeded in helping my wife through her more challenging perspectives.