Beyond the Stigma: Finding support and solace after an overdose

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It’s a Family Affair –

May 29, 2018 – Losing a loved one can be difficult enough. But when that person dies from a drug overdose, the shame and isolation that accompany the loss can be devastating. Concord Regional Visiting Nurse Association offers a monthly drop-in discussion group, Loss After Addiction. At this month’s gathering, only two people showed up: Janice Steenbeke of Boscawen and her sister, Becky Gauthier. Steenbeke, 70, was ready to tell her story. Her daughter, Pamela Steenbeke-DeSantis, died in January from an overdose, Steenbeke said. She was 48.

“She had an addiction she just could not get a handle on, and it ended up taking her life,” she said. In Pamela’s obituary, her family wrote that she died “after years of struggling with mental illness and the disease of addiction.” She didn’t want to hide what happened, Steenbeke said. Carmella Dow, CRVNA’s bereavement coordinator, and Eric Stanley, a hospice social worker, gently guided the discussion, explaining that everything said in the room is confidential. Dow also stressed there is no right or wrong way to grieve. She doesn’t feel ashamed, or guilty, Steenbeke told them. “I don’t know what else I could have done.” But she is angry at times, she said. “How did this happen? She’s from a very strong, loving family.”