Acting As If –
January 18, 2019 – A: I think, for me, my emotional ups and downs were becoming so extreme that I was not recognizable to myself. My downward spiral started around when I was 30, which was a time of discovery. It was life lessons that I needed to learn, and I should have learned when I was young. But I was so scared, I was so controlling when I was in my 20s that I never allowed myself to experience anything. When I hit my 30s, I thought, I’m an adult and I need some life experience and lessons. The emotional toll was so great.
The way I approached it was, I want to see what happens after a month of not drinking and doing drugs. After a month, I wanted two months sober. And then it just kept going. After a while, it felt amazing. I’m never doing it again. There’s no reason for me to do drugs and alcohol. It was all just a very negative thing. The mental clarity and the life change and the self-esteem and all of that coming into my life, that change is because I stopped destroying my body.